Understanding and managing mental health

We sent you a Special Edition email last Sunday (4/7), with a link to a survey.  Please spend a few minutes to complete this very important form for your child, which will help us support and improve your child’s reading skills and academic development.

Click here to complete the survey TODAY

The mental health of your child is as important as their physical health. According to the CDC, being mentally healthy during childhood and adolescence means reaching developmental and emotional milestones, and learning healthy habits that will help your child cope during challenging times. Your efforts to support a healthy mind enables a child’s self-confidence, self-esteem, ability to think clearly, and a positive quality of life. These qualities can positively impact a child’s ability to learn, try new things, and be engaged academically. Self-confidence can impact a child’s behavior in school such as their level of engagement and participation.

Understanding Mental Health in Children

What do children need from parents/caregivers for good mental health?

• Unconditional love and acceptance – Children need to know that you love them for who they are and not what they do. Mistakes should be expected and accepted. For example, if a child loses a game or fails a test, instead of getting mad at them, find out how he or she feels about the situation. 

• A strong relationship of openness and trust – Spend time with them and regularly ask them how they are doing. Show interest in their hobbies. For example, “It seems like you enjoy soccer. I love watching you kick around the soccer ball.” 

• A safe space for children to share their concerns – Acknowledge and respect your child’s feelings. “I’m glad you were able to share your feelings with me. That must have been so hard.” Be honest about your own mistakes and apologize. Do not hide your failures from your children. They need to know that we all make mistakes. It can be very reassuring to know that adults are not perfect. You can say, “I’m sorry for losing my patience with you earlier. Can we try that again?”

Signs your child is struggling with their mental health

Children can have the same mental health challenges as adults, but their symptoms look different. Mental health struggles in children can be expressed through disruptive, angry, or hyperactive (very active) behavior or withdrawal, worry, and emotional responses.

• A sudden change in behavior, normal eating, and/or sleeping patterns

• A decline in school performance – This means anything different from the child’s norm. Please note that each child’s norm is different. This does not mean to compare your child to what you believe is the norm. For example, are they no longer interested in extracurriculars? 

• Increase in worry, repeated refusal to go to school or participate in everyday activities 

• Nervous mannerisms, withdrawal, and aggressive behavior 

• Persistent disobedience, hyperactivity, fidgeting, frequent temper tantrums

• Persistent sadness, irritability, or isolation from peers

How can I support my child in having a healthy mind?

As we discussed in the last newsletter, the outcome of a task is not as important as being involved and enjoying the activity. One of the most important questions to ask children is “Did you have fun?’’ not “Did you win?”

Living in a world where we are all focused on outcomes, we often acknowledge only success, winning, and happiness. This attitude can be discouraging and frustrating to children learning and experimenting with new activities. It’s more important for children to participate and enjoy themselves. Here are some ways our actions as parents can build a healthy mind through guidance.

• Criticize the behavior, not the child. It is best to say, “That was a bad thing you did,” rather than “You are a bad boy or girl.”

• Explain why you are disciplining them and the potential consequences of their actions 

• Give children the reasons “why” 

• Children feel all emotions, they don’t only feel perfect or happy. Find out why your child feels angry, sad, scared, and anxious instead of immediately wanting to change the feeling back to happiness. 

• Validate their feelings – Be curious about why your child is acting this way

• Talk about your feelings. We all get upset from time to time. If this does happen, it is important to talk about what happened and why you are angry and acknowledge fault.

This month we would like parents to stay engaged at home by practicing skills that will be beneficial in building strong mental health within their child/children. The growth mindset diary from last month can be a positive resource for building strong mental health for children.